Matts dress code

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Matts dress codeI guess if I were gay, pickin up a str8 boy would be my biggest thrill. Not sure what the general mind set of gay guys is these days, but Im sure there are still plenty that operate under the “kiss and dont tell” mindset. Suckin on some str8 dick usually wont get blabbed around the inner circles. Ive had plenty of dudes suck my dick over the years—but way more attempted that didn’t get it. So—what gives Matt ?? How do we get that str8 boy 10” dick ?You all know the expression “you never get a second chance to make a good first impression “ right ? Well, that’s pretty much it. APPERANCE ! And specificly, we will talk here about “Matt’s dress code”It doesn’t take much to look “nice” But there are plenty of no-no’s that will quickly fuck up the chance of getting that str8 dick in ur mouth.No. 1 with me—CROSSBRANDING ! It urks the fuck outta me. What do you mean Matt ?Wearin 2 or more Logos at the same time. You don’t EVER put on your favorite Nikes and then top it off with an Addidas tee shirt. That’s just fuckin wrong. You dont don a Marlboro cap for instants, and then put on a KOOL tee shirt. No designer jeans, with a tee that says Levis—wear a plain tee. No Nike socks inside Puma kicks ! No shiny black Doc Martin’s with Catapiller socks. No Gucci belt with—oh fuck it, NEVER wear a Gucci belt. So, you get the picture ??? OK lets move on.JEANSThe standards are prefered—Levis, Lee, WranglerAnything else, as long as it looks good is ok, just don’t get too wild with designer shit. We don’t care if you spent $100 + on a pair of jeans, in fact we more likely think ur a dumb ass.FIT—snug is usually it. Skinny jeans are OK if you are skinny ! Major turn off to see blubber hanging out over your waist line cause your jeans are too tight. Too tight compresses your best “assets”. Your ass is compressed, not showing it’s roundness, and the separation of the buns dissapears. In other words—you dont see no crack ! Up front you have the same deal—too much compression actually forces your junk more downward, between your legs, so there is no visable bulge. You look flat, so appearing to the observer that you got no dick.Too loose—lots of dudes now like to be “saggars” It’s OK to a point. If you got pants hanging down to your thighs—my thoughts are your a boy in a dress. Absoulty stupid. Now a couple of inches, maybe riding just on the top of your ass is ok—specially if your ‘freeballin” where one can see about an inch or so of bolu escort the top of your crack. Keep in mind boys that saggin is a “style” that was started in PRISON. An inmate hanging his pants a few inches off his ass signified that said ass was AVAILABLE. About the only truly appropiate situation for sagging is if you are a skateboarder. If your goig to wear 501’s, then a jock is best. TOPSA button up shirt is just fine. Short sleeves should be tucked in, long sleeves can be worn either way—in or out. In more formal settings, like work, button the fucking cuffs ! More casual, like out on the town, or at a bar, you can roll the sleeves up to your forearms. No further—if you roll up to your biceps, then you look like your trying to imulate James Dean—which your not.Tees and tanks.OK, it gets real complicated here, so pay attention. In general, a tee should be one size bigger than you actually are. If your a medium, then wear a large tee. It should be loose and flowing. And should be standard colors—IE red, white, blue, black. NO fuckin pink, chartruse, baby blue or kelly green. Heather is ok, Now, with recent years intensity on safety at job sites, it’s ok if you have some of those safety lime green, or yellow or orange tees, specially if you have a job that requires you to wear them. It’s a good conversation starter 🙂 print on a tee—keep it very minimal. A Nike logo is quit fine, and maybe up to a few words. Tees that have entire paragraphs written on them are just plain stupid. A—your not going to stand still long enough for anyone to read all that shit, and B—no str8 boy is going to stare at you long enough to read it. Keep it simple—something like “fuck me” Tanks. Tanks, like tees and jeans can vary. A “fitted” tank should be just that ! Just touching your body, and nicely framing out your shoulders, exposing the pits. As one with a major pit fetish, this is obviously my favorite shirt. BUT if you dont look good in it, then dont fuckin wear it ! Same issue—BLUBBER. Now, if your one of those lucky guys with muscles, then you can certainly go all the way to skin tight. A slightly loose tank is ok but not too much. If it doubles up and exposes your titties, then you loose. We don’t want to see your titties. SHOES Aight—lots of rules here. Most any “kicks” (slang for athletic) are ok. Just tie them up. Not sure what the deal is with dudes that walk around with their shoes untied, other than it’s just burdur escort fuckin stupid. A few guys, like myself, tuck the laces inside their shoes—that’s kewl, it’s a jail thing. BOOTS—-cowboy boots are fine IF you are a cowboy, your driving a pick-up truck and you got a cowboy hat on, and a leather belt.. NO pointed toes, and for gods sake not women looking boots. And if I see you “prancin” about in cowboy boots, Im prolly gonna just kick the shit out of you. (see leather) WORK BOOTS—As far back as the 60”s this was part of the original “gay uniform”—levis 501’s, work boots, and buffalo plaid flannel shirt. Even today, it’s one of the best rugged masculine looks on a guy. Top choices are still Doc Martin, Catapillar,Timberland, and Bramah. SANDELS OMG the worse infractions happen here. You dont ever fuckin in the history of the planet earth do you put on socks with sandles !! It is a fuckin felony—and I will stomp your faggot ass. Almost as important are the feet themselves. DUDES, if you dont got pretty feet, then cover that shit up. A str8 dude can not concentrate on keeping his dick hard with visions of short fat gray looking feet, or yellow toe nails, or toes that curl up under your feet. Just plain nasty. Sandles should be worn only in very casual inviroments—and the BAR is not one of them. Camping, the beach, backyard, just prancing around the house, or maybe while driving a long distance. But if you do that, then see above rules before you stop and get out at the store. The most stupid look ever conceived by man is a dude wearing dumb looking golf shorts, with sandles, and SOCKS up to their calfs. The only thing worse is to top that off with hairless legs with no tan. BOAT SHOES—also known as “dock siders” Dock Siders is actually a trade logo by Sperry—which are the best looking. Most any will do, but as with sandles above, YOU DONT EVER IN THE HISTORY OF THE PLANET EARTH PUT ON FUCKIN SOCKS. This, also, is a felony ! It is a shoe designed for the intent of wearing in situations where you are likely to get your feet wet, but need to maintain a good grip on the surface you are walking on—like a boat ! They do look good with slacks, chinos, and jeans, but NO fuckin socks ! Again, I will stomp your faggot ass !The Beach—ok not tooo many rules here but there are a few that are important ones. SWIMWEAR ! Str8 dude do no ever want to see annother dude in SPEEDOS. It’s just that fuckin simple. escort bayan The only acceptable inviroment for speedos is if you are at a HS or college swim meet, and you are on the team. At the beach is legal ONLY if you got nice muscular legs, with hair on them, a tan, and your poppin a nice 6-pac.A nice bulge is good, but not too much, or too little. Keep ur junk in check–NO BONERS. Board shorts, or “boardies” are the prefered dress. Back in the 60”s you may remember these being called surfer shorts. “Shorty shorts” swim trunks are ok IF you adhere to above rules for speedos. Compression shorts fall under the same rules—you gotta have a nice ass, and be poppin a 6-pac. LEATHERFuck, just go back and read about jeans and swimwear. If your are a fat sissy faggot prancin around a leather bar screaming ‘girl” every other word, and you turn up your nose when you get a little wiff of some pit funk from a REAL leather dude, the you are sure to witness Matt puking up the last 6 beers he just killed. And now Im gonna kill you. HAIRIf you spent hours at a salon and more than 20 bucks on some outrageous hair doo—then you wasted your money. Keep it simple. I myself usually just do the buzz cut thing—easy to maintain and you can do it yourself. Sometimes I let it grow out during the winter, and then cut it into a mohawk for the summer. Neat and trimmed boys. BEARDS and shit. Never been attracted to Grisley Adams, and never will be. I still like the “razor cut” started back in the 90’s with mostly the mexican guys. No beards down to your chest, ear hair, or handlebars. Just never liked it.Almost forgot—UNDERWEAR !! Ok, for me personally I stopped wearin undies when I was 14, long before “freeballin” was a thing. (Or as we termed it back then, commando) There was just no way to have a conversation with mom that her “baby” already had 8” of dick and those tighty whities just had to go. Boxers are now the preffered thing, but not those granddaddy things that come down to your knees. Compression shorts, or “boxer briefs” are fine too, but the tradional Fruit of tha Looms just make you look like a 10 YO boy. Jocks are superb IF your are lucky enough to sport a lot of junk (like me )) If you got a little dick, there really isn’t much point. Jocks are a very BIG turn on if you got a hairy ass 🙂 SMELL aight dudes—if you weigh in at 325, got all that nasty shoulder and back hair on you, and you stink like a pig, then dont even fuckin walk up to me. It aint happening. NOW converse to that rule, if your 19, carrying a skate board, saggin down half ur ass, poppin a 6-pac, sweatin like a pig, and smell like a pig, then it’s going to be pretty easy to get 10” of str8 boy dick ****in ur punk ass. See the difference ?

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